Drinking, Allergy and Depression

Last week seemed to go by in a blur. I binged on Sunday and the depression hit me like a brick on Monday. I felt like I'd been run over by a bus. I was looking at the book 'Seven weeks to Sobriety' and relooked at the bit about types of drinkers. I had come out as an allergic addicted type which I had thought of as odd, she talks about cravings being triggered by chemicals and perfumes that are related to alcohol and I thought thats not me then I looked at the symptoms of binging then crashing with depression and I remembered that I'd had my hair analysed last year and that mentioned chemical overload causing me problems and ding on went the little light. I had never really followed the program as I had always hoped I could just cut down, but if I'm allergic to alcohol then thats not likely to go away.
So many people seem to want to stop for a while and then get back to social drinking. I'm begining to wonder if that can ever be possible and why if you can stop go back to consuming a poison, for the shere hell of it!
We are so conditioned to think that drinking is an essential part of life, there must be a way to stop that. I need to look at the hypnosis programs and see if there is something there that would help.
I'm also back on the tea and not doing well with raw food either. Why am I programed to feel sh*t as much as possible. That said I had a fantastic run on Thursday. We did a route that took us 43 mins before in under 40 which is fab. We were so pleased with ourselves that we ran again yesterday, unfortuanatly we were tired from Thursday and ran for a very difficult 33 mins. We are both amazed by how much we have progressed even running once a week. We have got used to having complete rest for a week and running again 2 days later was hard but we'll get there.

Catch up and Raw Challenge update.

Time seems to have flown by. Griff got home on Friday, knackered as usual after working hard then driving the 8 hours home. At the end of my weeks raw challenge I felt fantastic. I had dropped down from 58kg to 55kg. The last time I weighed that was when I stopped breastfeeding Flo, six years ago. Since then it has been creeping on. I weighed 62kg at the begining of last year and was 72kg by the time Gwils was born, so to be down to 55 is great. Several people have commented about the weight loss and my clothes are baggy. I've been running twice since last Thursday. I did the same route on Sunday and it took me 45 minutes. Last night I did it in the other direction with Flo on her bike and Griff on his with Eben in the front seat and Gwils in the back pack. That took us 43 minutes. 12 or so years ago I did it in 31.5 minutes! A long way to go yet. I was wondering how I had ever done that but at the end I sped up and the speed is still there, my pulse went up to 177 wereas it had been about 152 most of the way round.
We met Suzan and Robert at the top of the hill and were invited in for a glass of rosé. For some silly reason (ie I still can't say no) I said yes and went in and rehydrated on wine. I can feel it this morning. I'd been drinking at the weekend too. Not very much but once started I start drinking everyday again. I managed 6 days again. I need to start the hypnosis again. I have another called staying stopped so need to listen more often. Its daft because I felt so much better, as if I was rejuvenating. But as I said to Griff I think what I find hard is feeling better, I'm not used to feeling well and having drive and energy so I scupper my efforts each time to get back to normality, which is tired all the time and dragging myself through the day on tea and wine and then the consequences on mind and body of both of those. I just have to keep doing this untill feeling well becomes normal.

Hypnosis and Furbies

I also used the 3 hypnosis recordings before going to bed. I didn't have an alcoholic drink yesterday and only 2 cups of tea. Its 8.15 am and I am tempted by tea. I'll try and have some breakfast first and see how I feel.
In the recordings it mentioned seeing the addictions as parasites. I am seeing them as furby like toys that I am hitting with a plastic hammer, or like a kids game where rabbits or moles or suchlike keep popping up and you have to hammer them down!! Hopefully that will work.
I've had glycerine again this morning to try and keep my blood sugar balanced. Yesterday I was incrediably thirsty all day. I wonder if I will be so thirsty today.