This afternoon I feel so tired and grumpy, I've failed with my diet and feel like I've failed myself. No one else has any time for me its just want want want. I desperatly want to sleep and even though he can see that Griff then comes out with maybe we could do some gardening. Why can't he just do it if he wants to but no that means I'm being lazy. Lazy old Suzanne who always needs someone telling her what to do. Why can't I just sort myself out? I'm not alone in often thinking that someone else should help me even though I know that is not true. The anwer and the solution to all our problems is inside of us. The problem is beliveing enough in our value to find it. As children we have to ask for everything, we need to but soon adults start telling us no you can't have that, don't be so selfish, at the same time our parents are still doing things for us and efforts to do things ourselves are stopped as we won't do it well enough, quick enough etc, we might do it wrong. Then we learn about doing things for others, its good to do things for others but we mustn't feel pleased with ourselves that would be egotistical. We have to look after others as it's the done thing. This doesn't work though does it as we learn that people can't cope without others to do things for them and we start to wonder why no one wants to do things for us. At the same time we don't let our partners do things as they won't do them as well as us, we start parenting our parents and if our parents are like us they are looking for someone to save them too even though they 'know' life is about doing things for others.
When we see people who do things for themselves and who do well we say aren't they selfish.
Surely there should be a way of doing things for others but at the same time being responsible for ourselves. If everyone was in the main responsible for their happiness then it would be okay as others would need less of us. It doesn't mean we wouldn't have friends and be able to be nice and give gifts etc but it might mean that less of us would feel worthless and that we should always be fullfilling other peoples needs rather than our own.