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Thursday, October 14, 2010

The key that opens the door to extraordinary families

We have started a new game in our home. Every night at the dinner table we each take is another family member about himself. "So, Rick, how do you know if your interview on Monday?" "MOM, what you want for Christmas?" Sounds like just a normal conversation, right? Well, there is a purpose to our games. We have two introverted boys struggling with social skills. This game was created to better teach them how to communicate and take an interest in other people's lives. As adults, we are all needed to start a conversation with another person or communicate our concern for the important people in our lives.

What is this new game we play called? There are no formal name, but this game is a family of ritual and family rituals will help you to create extraordinary families. Webster's Dictionary is a ritual in "no formal, customary or ceremonial observance, practice or procedure". Family rituals that define that your family is. Each family has a different way of doing things and your children will identify certain rituals that special, and they will start to differ from other families. Family rituals provides comfort and safety. Think of the children who follows the same ritual every night before bed. MOM or Dad help her get ready for bed.They have read 3 books, talk about their day and the evening with bedtime prayers. Child will expect this routine every night and this very ritual is what gives the confidence needed between parent and child.

Family rituals based family bonds. My two boys have a special handshake, they engage in to show their love for each other. It is too complicated for parents, so we do not even try to learn it. You can count on family rituals to generate lots of wonderful family memories. I clearly remember, as a child, go every Sunday to donut shop with my parents. We would be able to pick up our monks and then Park in the parking lot somewhere.I would sit in the living eat my Ring while my parents read newspapers in the front seat.Now, it may seem a strange ritual, but even today, as an adult, with a ring on Sundays gives back special memories, Family rituals can finally be used to teach values and practical skills, without even knowing it, is a family game night teaching your child to be patience, collaboration, and good SPORTSMANSHIP.

There are five major objectives for family rituals:

1. Family rituals used to celebrate something. Rituals at weekends is probably the most popular type of ritual. Most families have a certain ritual they go through helping them to celebrate Christmas, birthday, Thanksgiving, Cinco de Mayo and other special dates. But how do you celebrate the first day of spring, the last day of school, Golden birthdays or report card day? The possibilities are endless.

2. Family rituals can be used to smooth the transitions and change; when it was time for my younger son to give up his Pacifier, we introduced "Paci Fairy". We hear him Paci Fairy will come at night to get all their Pacifiers and leave him a special toy. My son never asked for their Pacifiers after that night. We all go through changes in life, and family rituals can make these times of change, exciting and normal. Consider introducing rituals for potty training, new born, 1st period for girls, 1st shave for boys, new drivers and graduations in intensity and hue.

3. Another objective for family rituals is to solve a problem. There is always the family's problems to be resolved. Family weekly meetings are a great way to tackle these problems. Consider having the burden of rituals to expand family cooperation.I know the families that will go through a ridiculous ritual when their child with a temper tantrum.

4. Family rituals should be used to help the family members connect with each other. Skin care and bedtime rituals are excellent ways to connect. Introducing family fun nights regularly generates proximity. My older son, and I have a special way, we say "I Love You".It is a hand signal we use that no one else understands. Connection in your family is essential to create an additional family.

5. Family rituals are great for teaching skills and values.A good way to introduce values in your home is to create a "Value of the Month" program.Decide what your 12 peak is for your family and assign a value to a month.For example, February is a good time to teach the value of love, and november is perfect for thankfulness and appreciation.Introduce special rituals every month to teach these values.Read books, play games, make a family community projects, and watch videos that are associated with this value is a great way to reinforce what you want your children to learn.

Keep in mind the family rituals you already operate.The rituals would be a good idea to add your family to create happier and closer relationships?What problems in your family need to be addressed, and how can you add a ritual to help them? what changes or special day to celebrate in your family? I recommend you to get started, with a fixed ritual for the connection on a daily basis, you can create a modest weekly family ritual and work in a monthly family ritual. Celebrate at least one family ritual for great holidays and birthdays. remember, with the aim of creating family rituals is to equip your child with the skills and values that you want to use them to learn, large family relationships and wonderful memories.

Lori Radun, CEC certified life coach for VAT. Lori is the author of The Energy Equation eCourse, Express Yourself!, and The Self Esteem series; receive her free newsletters and special report 155 Things Moms can do to increase the Great Children, visit her at

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