The Expanded Family Life Cycle: Individual, Family, and Social Perspectives (4th Edition)

Now featured in a Classics Edition with a new Foreword by Donald Boch, The Expanded Family Life Cycle integrates theory and current research with clinical guidelines and cases by two of the most-respected authors, teachers, and clinicians in the field of family therapy, Betty Carter and Monica McGoldrick.

 

This classic Family Therapy text provides “and more comprehensive way to think about human development and the life cycle,” reflecting changes in society away from orientation toward the nuclear family, toward a more diverse and inclusive definition of “family.”

 

This expanded view of the family includes the impact of issues at multiple levels of the human system: the individual, family households, the extended family, the community, the cultural group, and the larger society. The text features a ground-breaking integration of individual male and female development in systemic context; our increasing racial, ethnic, and cultural diversity; the emergence of men's movements and issues; the growing visibility of lesbian and gay families; and the neglected area of social class.

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Families in Pakistan

For some families, a flight from Pakistan to a location on the Western hemisphere may seem a flight to another world. It would indeed be the case if a tight-knit Pakistani family was to travel to THE UNITED STATES or Canada.

In the West tend to members of the family are categorized.Some family members fall under the term "immediate family", "others fall under the heading" extended family. "For families in Pakistan obliterates the degree of all family members need such categorization.

In Pakistan, determines the degree of all family members of the family approach to ever opportunity; Pakistani children, while older children, do not hesitate to follow with their parents in public. Many Pakistani children share their home with one or two pairs of grandparents.

When a child growing up in such a tight-knit family, he or she learns to appreciate all the members of any family. If such child immigrates to the United States, then his or her spouse a wonderful surprise. An adult should be familiar with tight-knit family will quickly offer condolences to the family who experiences the loss of a loved one.

Of families in Pakistan, one can find many different types of what has become known as a "common family". As mentioned, contains a common family invariably one or more grandparents.A common family can also contain an aunt, an uncle and even some cousins. In a common family would they all live under one roof.

Each Member of a Pakistani family have respect for the elderly family members. At the same time fails families in Pakistan will never look at children in the family as "gifts from God."Parents are responsible for educating children in the family, the basic conviction family selected freedom of religion.

Islam is the religion practiced by most families in Pakistan.Special occasions such as weddings, carried out according to Muslim tradition, Many marriages are planned marriage.The father of a daughter decides that she will marry.His words must go unquestioned.

While dad control scheduling for weddings, attend all family members in the preparations that wedding.They contribute to preparing the bride, obtaining the necessary deorationsand to prepare food for the guests. date of the wedding gather members of the family management of marriage contract, Pakistanis calls "mikah."

A second ceremony in Pakistani Home called "aqeeqa" ceremony; during this ceremony collecting family members for a feast. The witness circumcision of a new male babies. value of ceremony underlines the ephasis as families in Pakistan on their male children.

A female child is expected to grow into the role of a mother with her life decisions are driven by men; Women in Pakistan, of course, is to find more and more reasons to go through life in a way that refuses to accept the restrictions proposed by male family members.

Measures for women in today's Pakistan could very well be able to re-shape nature of family life in Pakistan.

For further reading, please visit Asian women Magazine

Ashithas report about alcoholism affects families

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Alcoholism of often termed the family illness, referring to the tremendous impact an active alcoholic has on those around him. There is no way the family members can escape or ignore the alcoholic. The majority of the alcoholic impairments are behavioural. So in the day-to-day interactions of family life, the family members are confronted with alcoholic behaviour. The family is, confused, be wildered, angry and afraid. They act accordingly. Their responses characteristically are as impaired as the alcoholic's.

Certainly no family member ever caused alcoholism. Yet the family may, despites its best intentions, behave in a way that allows the alcoholic to continue drinking. They may protect the alcoholic, make excuses, buy into the alibis, cover up. They might call the employer, pretending the alcoholic is sick. The alcoholic's actions are bound to increase the family's anxiety level.

JACKSON'S STAGES

Jackson describes the stages that occur as a family comes to grips with an alcoholic in its midst. Her stages were initially intended to describe the family in which the husband and father is the alcoholic.

Denial:- Early in the development of alcoholism, occasional episodes of excessive drinking are explained away both marriage partners. Drinking because of drunkenness worry, nervousness, or a had day is not unbelievable the assumption is that the episode is an isolated instance and therefore no problem.

Attempts to eliminate the problem:- Here the spouse recognizes that the drinking is not normal and tries to make sure the alcoholic to quit, be more careful, or cut down. Simultaneously, the spouse tries to hide the problem from the outside and keep up a good front. Children in the family may well start having start having problems in response to the family stress.

Disorganization and chaos:- The family equilibrium has now broken down. The spouse can no longer pretend everything is okay and spends most of the time going crisis to crisis. Financial troubles are common. Under real stress, possibly questioning his or her own sanity, the spouse is likely to seek outside help.

Reorganization in spite of the problem:- The spouse's coping abilities have strengthened. He or she gradually assumes the larger share of responsibility for the family unit. This may mean getting a job or taking over the finances. The major focus of energy is no longer directed toward getting the alcoholic partner to shape up. Instead, the spouse takes charge and fosters family life, despite the alcoholism.

Efforts to escape:- Separation or divorce may be attempted: lithe family unit remains intact, the family continues living around the alcoholic.

Family reorganization:- In the case of separation, family reorganization occurs without the alcoholic member. If the alcoholic achieves sobriety, a reconciliation may take place. Either path will require both partners to realign roles and make new adjustments.

ADDICTION, A FAMILY DISEASE

Addition is a 'family disease' that affects not only the addicted individual, but also his family members.

As addiction gets worse day by day, the family is compelled to face several unmanageable problems. Unable to cope with these problems, the family constantly lives under severe tensions and pressure. This results in the family members becoming desperate, angry, frustrated, nervous, afraid and guilty. In many ways they start behaving like the addict, even though they do not take alcohol.

Responses of the family members

Stage 1

a) Denying the problems:- Initially the family members deny or minimize the problems related to his drinking.

b) Justifying his drinking:- The family members give reasons for his drinking.

c) Making changes:- In an attempt to stop his drinking. The family members often believe that they are responsible for the alcoholic's drinking. They try to solve the problems at home and establish a pleasant atmosphere hoping that he will then give up drinking. The wife goes all out to please the alcoholic-pays his debts to relieve him of his financial burdens.

Stage 2

d) Withdrawing from society:- In spite of their efforts the family members find that he continues to drink. They do not want anyone to know this fact. Thus they become less social and keep away from their relatives and friends. They do not invite anyone home. They feel lonely and at the same time, worthless.

e) Protecting the alcoholic from the consequences of his drinking:- They protect the alcoholic by, covering up the consequences arising out of his drinking thinking that they can make him give up alcohol.

f) Making attempts to control his drinking:- In the hope of getting him out of his problem. The wife may empty or break the bottles, request the alcoholic to drink on only at house and not outside. Tell him not to drink in the mornings. Extract promises from him that he will not drink when there are guests at home. Unable to achieve anything, the family members feel angry, let down, bitter. Initially the anger, and hatred are directed towards the alcoholic, gradually, the focus is lost and they get angry with everyone around.

Stage 3

g) Losing control over oneself:- The family members give up all attempts to control his drinking because they realize that these methods do not help. Thus they may decide to refrain from getting angry. But they are unable to control their emotions and shot at the alcoholic for drinking heavily, beat the children for minor mistakes committed by them, get anxious about the alcoholic when he does not come home till dark etc. Her own behaviour makes her wonder whether she is losing her sanity.

h) Fear of the future:- The family members are very worried and scared. For them, the future looks bleak. Tomorrow is a big question mark.

Stage 4

i) Trying to reorganize the household:- They have absolutely no control over the alcoholic and the family members are not able to relay on him for anything. Their she takes up the complete responsibility of running the family and the alcoholic is only looked upon as a defiant angry child.

Stage 5

j) Breaking away from the alcoholic:- As the disease of alcoholism worsens the wife believers that she can lead a life independent of the alcoholic. She is -also worried that if left alone, he may ruin himself. These lead too lots of conflicts in her mind, feeling disgusted, she may leave him for a short period of time but, she normally comes back.

Stage 6

k) Allowing the alcoholic to face a crisis:- The wife stops taking any responsibility for the consequences of the alcoholic behaviour.

Emotional responses of the family members

1) Guilt - Our culture impels that if a person drinks too much, his parents or wife is to be blamed. This attitude of society often leads to self-blame and it produces more guilt and shame. This prevents both: he alcoholic and the family members from developing self-awareness which can lead to a positive change.

2) Grief - It is the result of all sorts of losses-loss of prestige, personal dignity, care, understanding and love, friends, finances-loss in each and every area of their life. They do not share their feelings of grief with anyone, they suffer alone.

3) Anger - When no one cares to listen to them the family members experiences anger and deep sadness. Their utter helplessness makes them angry. They are angry with themselves.

4) Hurt - If the anger is suppressed and not let out, it results in frustration, resentment and hurt feelings and anxiety.

5) Shame - The in appropriate behaviour of the alcoholic in front of relatives and friends makes the family embarrassed. Shame produce slow self worth in each members of the family leading to social isolation.

6) Fear - Living in a problematic distressed family, produces fear-fear of the future, fear of family life, fear of financial matters, fear or helps, fear of arguments, fear their physical well-being. There feelings of fear are a result of the internalized emotional stress that each and every family members experiences.

7) Loneliness - The stressful situation in the alcoholic's family results in the breakdown of normal family communications. Love, Care and Concern are lost in the stress, anxiety and crisis experienced. The isolation created by lack of communication always leads to bitter loneliness.

The children of alcoholics learn three unwritten laws or self imposed commands. They are 'don't talk, don't trust, don't feel'. They may play one or more roles within family. ie, responsible child, adjusting child, placating child, rebellious child.

Though they are harmful to our family relations, being related, we have the moral right to love, care, and help them to come out of it. For that psychological efforts have to be promoted. As the medical science has developed more in this century, the addition could be cured by root.

The effects on the children of alcoholics

Lack of role model, lying, loss of self esteem, fear, depression and suicidal idea.

The children Learn Three Unwritten Laws or self imposed commands

Don't Talk, Don't Trust, don't Feel and play one or more roles within the family:

Responsible child

Adjusting child

Placating child

Rebellious child

Alcoholic family reactivity patterns

The functional family system

(The family with an Alcoholic member)

The neurotic enmeshed family system

(The Alcoholic Family)

The disintegrated family system

(Family separation & isolation)

The absent family system

(The long term isolated alcoholic)

A GUIDE FOR THE FAMILY OF THE ALCOHOLIC

The family's best defense against the emotional impact of alcoholism is gaining know, ledge and achieving the emotional maturity and courage needed to put in into effect.

Individuals who may be capable of assisting alcoholics outside the family may become confused, destructive persons if a member of their own family becomes an active alcoholic. This is especially true if the drinking alcoholic is the husband, or wife.

The "next of kin" or 'person most responsible for the alcoholic may need more assistance and counselling than the alcoholic if an effective recovery program is to be launched. Alcoholism is an illness, but one which has tremendous emotional impact upon the immediate family. Those most affected by the alcoholic are the spouse, parent, sister, brother and child. The more distorted the emotions of these persons become the less adequate their help will be. The interaction may and often does become destructive rather than helpful.

For example wives may find themselves blamed for everything that is wrong is an alcoholic marriage. This may reach the point where they may fear this is true. Yet alcoholism is an illness. The wife is no more responsible for alcoholism than she would be for the existence of diabetes or tuberculosis in her husband. Now wife ever made her husband an alcoholic, there fore no wife can be held responsible for his recovery. However, by lack of knowledge she may allow the illness to go unnoticed. By lack of adequate understanding and courage she may acquiesce in the development of the disease. For the existence of alcoholism the wife is not responsible, but she can abet the husband avoiding treatment, or takes steps which may lead to earlier recovery though this cannot be absolutely assured.

This same principle holds true for all members of the family, especially the one person upon whom the alcoholic ultimately depends. This primary person in the alcoholic's life cannot "treat" the illness. No doctor should treat his own serious illness, and few will ever act as physician for a member of their immediate family, especially spouse, parent or child. As alcoholism progresses relatives become involved emotionally.

THE ALCOHOLIC'S WEAPONS

Anger

The first weapon is ability to arose anger or provoke loss of temper. If the family member or friend becomes angry and hostile this person has been completely destroyed in so far as ability to help the alcoholic is concerned. Consciously or unconsciously the alcoholic is projecting an image of self-hatred against the other person. If it is met by angry, hostile attacks it is thereby verified and the alcoholic's own mind justifies the former drinking and also now has an additional excuse to drink in the future.

Anxiety

The second weapon of the alcoholic is the ability to arouse anxiety on the part of the family. Thereby they are compelled to do for the alcoholic that which can be done only by the alcoholic if the illness is to be arrested and recovery initiated.

The alcoholic cannot undo what others have already undone. This in reality increases the alcoholic's sense of failure and guilt and increases the family's sense of hostility and condemnation if the alcoholic. Thereby the alcoholic is doubly injured. The criticism, scolding and moralizing add to the alcoholic's guilt and resentment against self and family.

Alcoholics are propelled along the progress of the disease when the family is unable to cope with anxiety aroused by the alcoholic. This is in effect part of the illness. Neither the alcoholic nor his family is able to face realty.

Love and compassion

One of the more serious failures in approaching the alcoholic is the inability to understand the meaning of love. The wife has no right to state, "if you loved me you would not drink".

Alcohol is an anesthetic. When the alcoholic drinks he anesthetizes his pain. This is the pleasure of alcohol escape. It is a problem-solving device to relieve unpleasantness, anxiety, tension and resentment. When the alcoholic drinks pain is avoided for the time being but pain, tension, anxiety and resentment are increased severely in the family. When the alcoholic drinks pain is avoided for the time being but pain, tension, anxiety and resentment are increased severely in the family. When the alcohokic sobers up there is little desire to suffer the consequences of drinking. Remorse and guilt now compel the - alcoholic to prostrate him self before the family, beggar mercy and promise that it will never happen again. Or the reverse side of the coin may appear, complete unwillingness to discuss what happened. Each attempts to gain the same goal, the avoidance of the consequences of drinking. If the alcoholic succeeds by either means his pain is again avoider or relieved but the family again pays the price of the consequences of drinking.

Love is Destroyed

Love cannot continue to exist in this type of action and interaction. The alcoholic uses alcohol to escape pain by drinking and learns, how to use the family to escape the pain of the consequences. The family suffers when the alcoholic drinks and then suffers the painful consequences also. If the family bears the brunt of the drinking and absorbs its consequences then compassion cannot exist Compassion is bearing with or suffering with a person, not suffering because of the unwillingness of the other person to suffer. If this condition is allowed to continue by the - family, love is gradually destroyed and replaced by fear, resentment and hatred. The only way love can be retained is by family members learning not to suffer when drinking is in progress and refusing to undo the consequences of drinking. Anything less than this is not compassion and only relationship without, justice and compassion is not love.

The traffic result is that alcoholism is thereby encouraged and fear and resentment take over human emotions. This is why family members, especially the next of kin of the alcoholic, need held if the disease is to be arrested and recovery initiated. Other wise the entire family becomes ill emotionally. This condition is but another symptom of the progress of the disease.

THE 'ROLE' OF PARENTS AND TEACHERS

The role of parents and teachers in preventing youth from getting into the drug - scene can best the filled by sympathetic understanding of what is going on in their minds in hearts. Even if the parents and teachers are to old to be interested in the new attractions, they must make themselves young enough in thought to share the feelings which these youth have received from the atmosphere around them, - blowing in from all over the world.

A word of warning: sometimes these pressures and desires also come to the parents and teachers tool'. More and more adults have problems which they don't want to admit, but which cause them to drink, or gamble, or play around in dangerous way, too. You need only count the increasing number of alcoholics and alcohol selling shops, or reflect on the new and important place and "source force" which helps more and more people to buy new land, build new homes, wear clothes they cannot afford, and generally try to impress their friends and relatives with items that are bigger and better.

Especially parents must be aware of how their grown - up children are developing in life. If their studies are weak, if they keep irregular hours and do not easily answer questions about their activity or friends; if they growth in, do not eat, oversleep and are secretive, it is a time for loving, sympathetic seeking to understand rather then harshly criticize. Talk with them about their plans for the future, their interests and how to go about achieving them. Let them share with you the impressions they get from their friends, and how they feel because of these things. Confide in them - the problems which you adults feel too with the strains of modern life in our land- locked, opportunity - locked country.

Common Features of the Family with an Addict Members

The addict is the symptom carrier of the family dysfunction.

The addict helps to maintain family homeostasis.

The addict reinforces the parental need to control and continue parenting, yet he finds such parenting inadequate for his needs.

The addict provides a displaced battlefield so that implicit and explicit parental strife can continue to be denied.

Parental drug, and alcohol above is common and is directly transmitted to the addict or results in - inadequate parenting.

The addict forms cross - generational alliances which separate parents from each other.

Generational boundaries are diffused - there is frequent competition between parents.

Frequently the crisis created by addict is the only was the family gets together and attempts some problem solving, or is the only opportunity for a "deed" family to experience emotions.

Ashitha P. Joy is MSW student in Assumption College, Changanachery, kerala, India.

Dr. Hari S.Chandran, M.Phil (Psy), Ph.D, PGDPC, C. Psych.(England) is working as Cons. Psychologist, Department of Deaddiction & Mental Health, St. Gregorios Mission Hospital, Parumala. Kerala,India. drhari7@hotmail.com

Benefits and challenges of a family owned Business

Family Business-account for over 80% of all U.S. enterprises contribute 50% of our gross domestic product and give half of our workforce. But only about 10% of family businesses, makes it the third-generation due to the unique challenges faced by family businesses encounter.

Start a venture with your family ...

There are certain advantages to starting a family businesses:

-Initial costs and losses be shared easily.
-Later success favours the family as a whole.
-Allows the family to be together.
Family can trust each other more than outsiders.

But there are many challenges that come in a start-up company that need to be addressed:

Tips for make jointly run and start a business:

--Follow the business rules, romance is for non-kontorstid.
--Clearly define the role of each spouse.
--Highlight each others ' talents.
--Keep business and personal life separate-understand the inherent conflicts of interest.
--Set the strong fundamentals and understand you do not always agree.
--Define your expectations firmly and clearly.
--Set-aside family time.

-Involve young family members in activities for fun, short tasks and jobs.
-Have a system for the recognition and rewards hard work and accomplishments in the family.
-Understand clearly what business relations with the family is.
-Have a solid Business plan that clearly defines the corporate structure, responsibilities, roles, strategic direction and so on.
-Clearly identify who is the lead contractor.
-Identify strengths and weaknesses of each family member.
-Understand each person's work experience and family background.
-Determine how much money each family will help.
-Keep up front how equity are to be broken.
-Honest and clear communication between family.
-Professional, business climate and struktur.
-How and where the non-family will be incorporated into the company.

If you connect to an early step family venture ...

Benefits for family members to join a new family venture are many:

Family can help, and are cheap during development.
Family to be able to help businesses that it benefits the family as a whole.
-Flexible hours, days and pay is attractive for the family to begin using minimum resources.
-Activity brings together family back.
-Family members join the family business since they are frustrated with their current work and the environment.

Issues to consider at an early stage-family venture:

-To a large extent, personal affairs; experience the role reversals.
-Resentment can build on a family member is not sufficiently challenged and rewarded.
-Questions about power, rivalry and jealousy is common among family members.
-Take into account to a family member, personal interest, expertise, experience and education when assigning responsibilities.
-Define exactly, each family member's area of responsibility.
-Define which each family member is responsible, and for.
-Determining the remuneration structures-salary, bonus and equity stakes.
-How is a disagreement?
-What will happen if not contribute with a family?
-If a family member would, what is buyout plan and continued plan?
-Are you going to allow family members to be non-participation, passive investors in business?

Best advice: define the business stakeholders the different rules, expectations and structure unique to family business critical to its success; these unique requirements need to be well developed and described in the plan for the company Business and constantly discussed in regular family meetings; this way, each Member of the family feels they are decisive and contribute to the overall strategic direction and the future of the family business.

Connect a Family Company which one year Business ...

This may be the biggest challenge for a family member: where do I fit in a Family Business that has been in operation for some time and/or for the successive generations? Certain characteristics and challenges for a later stage/mature family businesses:

-Maintain a policy that all start at the bottom and works his way up through the ranks, regardless of their experience level, can initially family members join the existing company; however, they soon realize it is very important not to show favoritism among family members and non-family employees; This nips in Linda issues of nepotism, right, jealousy and resentment.

-Family members can sometimes be transitory, permanent or temporary staff to seasonal demand, a particularly tough business environment or during periods of high growth; this phenomenon can increase the spirit of the corps, but it can also be caused by contention. Again, with the family meetings to decide such issues, and ensures the most on board with the occasional family assistance, is extremely important.

-Some family members may use the activity as a step on a career path or start their own businesses. Planning for this potential loss and contingencies should be part of any family business management plan; also the establishment of non-compete provisions business stakeholders and to protect the personal nature of the operation of a family member are moved on, also a part of the company's management structure.

-The question of family successor is enormous in a mature family companies. How is a family firm chooses the next succeeding? there is room for the next generation? what are the options for members of the family Is the company growing? enough to support the new family blood? Current management structure and format allows the flexibility and latitude next generation search? all this talk about the importance of using the well developed, the family-led Business Planning to maintain progressive-success for future generations; this phenomenon becomes more urgent and important in mature family operations; we are dealing with the problem in the subsequent sections prospects in detail, together with conflicts, limitations and problems a family business.

The benefits of a mature stage family company enjoys is many, but the following are common, and often are keys to success:

-Each Member of the family contributes to the overall benefit of the whole family.
-Family members can enjoy making and reach goals together,
-A member of a very special group that is very close to be knit.
-All pitches the hard work to get things done, "must do".
-Family law work translates to identifiable and measurable progress.
-A sense of family that is "our activities"; it is "what we do"; it is a question of ownership and inheritance.
-Special attitude shared by family members are driving them to work hard to succeed in business.
-That in new life, new knowledge and added experience to maturing business.
-Mature family businesses often have and keep market benefits and competitive advantage that new generations are often ensure company not stagnate.

Frank Goley is business consultant, business turnaround consultant and business coach, and he is working for ABC Business Consulting; he is an expert in the development, write and implement company plans, financing, business plans, marketing plans, strategic plans, and turnaround business plans; He also offers complete solution business consulting, business turnaround consulting and web marketing and development consulting, Frank is the author of a business plan book, The Comprehensive Business Plan workbook-A Step by Step Guide to effective Business Planning, and he writes Business Success Strategies blog.

Awkward Family Photos

Based on the hit website, AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com (“painful, regrettable, horrifyingly awesome snaps of family bonding, you will laugh so hard that people in adjoining offices will ask what’s wrong with you”—Esquire), this full color book features never-before-seen photos and hilarious personal stories covering everything from uncomfortable moments with relatives, teen angst, sibling rivalry, and family vacations from hell. Cringe at the forced poses, bad hair, and matching outfits--all prompting us to look at our own families and celebrate the fact that we're not alone. Nothing says awkward better than an uncomfortable family photograph!

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Starting a Family

Marriage and starting a family can be very challenging. My short book about my experiences coming from a large family as well as being a married father of two may help you get through some of these challenges.

Check it out!

Family Tree

An unforgettable novel about family, race, and the choices people make in times of crisis.

Dana Clarke has just given birth to her first child. The little girl is lovely but no one can help noticing how little she resembles her parents. Dana's husband, among others, suspects that she may have had an affair. In order to put the rumors and speculation to rest, Dana has to delve deep into her past and her husband's heritage to unearth some uncomfortable secrets. Can her marriage survive what she finds out?

Price: $7.99

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How to Complete a Family Tree: Companion to 6-Generation Family Tree

Family Tree guide with professional template. 
Check it out!

Family Therapy-cognitive, Narrative and Psychoeducational interventions

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The Peterson family on May 5th 2007 took the initiative to gain therapeutic services for their troubled son David. Throughout the therapeutic process, all family members became actively involved. Three primary family therapeutic approaches for treatment were eventually chosen by the therapist with the application of three interventions within each approach. The approaches included; Cognitive Behavioral approach, Narrative Based Therapeutic approach, and a Psychoeducational Therapeutic approach. These purposely chosen constructs were applied to the Peterson family system and with their help the Peterson family was able to assist their son David with his behavior issues.

Agency Context

The current agency, in which the Peterson family sought assistance, was the Summit Agency. Summit is an inner city agency located within the college district of Philadelphia. It is a high end agency that specializes in helping families and individuals with problematic behaviors and circumstances. Much of the clientele within the Summit Agency could be considered mid to upper class. The agency is primarily funded by direct payment from clients who are seeking highly qualified PhD. and Masters level clinicians to assist with their family issues and by private donations given by local university professors and staff.

Presenting Problem

The presenting problem according to the Peterson family has been clarified by Mr. and Mrs. Peterson as the behavior of their 16 yr. old son David. For the last two months David has been acting out in school and been disrespectful at home. Rule breaking, disrespecting teachers, and detentions have remained consistent parts of David's behaviors. This type of behavior for the Peterson family is unacceptable and has resulted in the Peterson family seeking assistance for their son's behavior. Mr. Peterson worries that if David's behavior continues, many may think that David is a real trouble maker; thus effecting his academic life and possibilities of going to college in two years. Mrs. Peterson is concerned about her son and wants his negative behaviors to cease. She feels that when he acts out in school this causes tensions within the household; especially between herself and her husband. Both Mr. & Mrs. Peterson seem to agree that they argue more and have greater difficulties on the weeks and days in which David gets in the most trouble. In sessions, David makes statements like, "I don't care about school, because you guy's don't really care about me." David, in session seems angry. He seems to be very sensitive and seems to desire more attention and time with his parents. He states that he believes no one listens to him and that the only reason he is at the Summit Point agency is because his mom & dad just want to change him. Both, Mr. and Mrs. Peterson want David to just behave at school and at home in order for him to obtain a good education and be regarded as a good young man. David states that if his parents would not work so much, he may have some time with them, and not feel so lonely. David also states that when his parents are angry, they seem to take things out on him; thus making him more frustrated and angry.

Demographics

Mr. Peterson is a 50 year old white male. Mr. Peterson is an educated man with a PhD in literature from the University of North Carolina, for which he takes great pride. Mr. Peterson could be described as having an opinionated egocentric personality, quick witted, and some how seems to respond with some type of literary quote within every response to family and friends. Mr. Peterson does not emphasize a religious preference or identity and could be considered one who maintains an upper middle class life style. Although Mr. Peterson has published a few literary works, none have been significantly successful, and this seems to be a source of pain and loss of self esteem for Mr. Peterson.

Mrs. Peterson is a 46 year old white female. Mrs. Peterson also graduated from the University of North Carolina with a PhD in literature. Mrs. Peterson seems to be a smart, pleasant person that makes references to having hobbies; such as playing tennis, biking and shopping. Mrs. Peterson does not declare a religious preference, but does say she believes in God. Mrs. Peterson has published two novels and takes great pride in their success.

David is a sixteen year old white male. He has no history of mental illness or notable behavior problems. David attends high school within the tenth grade at Highland High School. David does not consider himself to be a religious person, but does love the latest Eminem Rap CD, loves to skate board, draw, and enjoys watching horror movies. David does seem to be a sensitive young man, and at times makes efforts to express his feelings and clearly express any noticeable changes to pictures and other items within my therapeutic office; thus indicating a heightened sense of observational ability.

Treatment Plan

The current treatment plan (see figure 1.1) consist of one primary goal and intermediary objectives through a Cognitive Approach to assist in modifying David's current behavior issues. Thus far, over the past month and a half I have met with the Peterson family every week and attempted to assist David and his family with these objectives and goal with no progress. I believe that with the current information I can develop suggestions, and inform my practice by linking new strategies and intervention objectives from family therapeutic approaches to assist in solving David's difficulties.

GOAL: To decrease David's problematic behaviors

- Send home weekly progress report

- When David receives poor behavior reports he is grounded from skate boarding and other activities he enjoys

Figure 1.1

The current suggestion and decision to link family therapy approaches to this circumstance is to assist with significant issues. In retrospect, the interventions although practical, placed much of the responsibility and process upon David rather than a family oriented intervention. It was found that many times David would not even bring home his weekly progress reports for review. It was also founded that the use of negative reinforcement strategies was not effective due to David's already tattered self image. After further interactions with parents it was discovered that they rarely complimented David on what he does right, and they admitted to criticizing him at times. With this information I believe that it would be wise to now integrate a positive reinforcement plan that would assist with promoting good behavior and increasing self esteem. I feel that suggesting the use of strategies to assist with David's parents in regards to their relationship and the scape goating behaviors David describes may be beneficial. I believe that David's parents would also benefit by gaining parenting skills and education. The prior treatment plan did not allow David to experience for himself the roles of others or allow him to identify thought and feeling patterns. I believe that with the understanding of David's personality and his obvious intelligence and sensitivity, utilizing strategies that assist with thought identification may be beneficial. The newly suggested treatment plan is as follows;

Goal One: To decrease David's problematic behaviors

- To increase David's awareness of how his behavior affects others

- To assist David in identifying thoughts, feelings, behaviors, beliefs

- To assist David's parents with better parenting and relationship skills

Figure 1.2

Strategies for Change - Cognitive Approach

During session discussion I would ask David, how he thought his behavior at school made others feel and what impact his behavior had on others. After his response I feel that the "Critical Moment" Cognitive Behavioral approach intervention that I learned at the University of Michigan School of Social Work may be effective (Personal Communication, R. Tolman, October, 2006). I would suggest that a role play should be utilized with David and his parents. I would ask David to identify any time or circumstance in which he interacted with a teacher negatively and when the interaction concluded with a negative consequence for David. The circumstance I would request of David must have ended with him thinking that he should have responded differently. I would ask him to express to all of us his detailed story from beginning to end. After he expressed his story I would ask David and his parents if there were more positive responses David could have utilized that were not disrespectful. David and his parents would have good ideas regarding what David's response could have been and they would share these ideas. After sharing their ideas, I would request that David play the role of the teacher, and I then ask his father to play the role of his son David. I would ask David's father to make sure that in his response, as he acted like David that he would include the newly agreed upon positive response. As both would act out the role play, David would state the words of his teacher within the past interaction and his father would do his best to repeat what David had stated was spoken during the interaction, except for the addition of the positive statement that David should have said. After the role play, I would request a role reversal. This time David would play himself, stating what his father had stated with the positive response attached to his interaction. His father would play the teacher, and at the conclusion David would hopefully begin to understand both roles of those involved. It is hypothesized that this role reversal may change David's perceptions.

The second intervention that I believe would be helpful in allowing David to identify his thoughts and feelings and how they effect his behavior would be to utilize during the session a dry erase board in order to draw the "circle of identification" (Becvar & Becvar, 2000). This circle could indicate the process of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. I feel that the utilization of this type of intervention may work well, considering the known information regarding David's love for drawing and visual acuity. I would suggest to David to express a time when he was disrespectful or acting out against his parents or teachers. That specific episode would be the focus in which we would identify his thoughts, feelings and behaviors to that circumstance. As a therapist I believe that as we identify his thoughts and feelings during this episode and address whether or not they were positive or negative, or whether they were realistic or distorted; at the center of David's response could lie schemas about himself and others that may not be healthy or functional for his life. It will be the goal of this intervention to address those negative schemas that may be assisting in negative responses, and purposely inserting positive collaborative thoughts created within our sessions.

Due to suspected negative reciprocity and the development of negative schemas within the family system, regarding David's consistent behaviors, it would seem to be beneficial to utilize a third cognitive approach. I feel that it may be beneficial for the Peterson family to utilize a thought, feeling, and behavior journal for all members in the family (Becvar & Becvar, 2000; Lawson & Prevatt, 1999). It would be expressed to the family that on each page of the journal there should be two headings; "What did David do today", and "How did I feel about what David did today." I believe that this could allow the family over a number of sessions to come to a realization of how they are perceiving their son, and how David perceives himself in a qualitative manner. Identifying these schemas, thoughts, and feelings may be beneficial for assisting in cognitively reconstructing the family systems perception and expectations of David's behavior.

Narrative Approach

It could be suggested that in an effort to speak about the behaviors within sessions one should seek to reduce parental "problem saturation" regarding discussions of David's behavior (Lawson & Prevatt, 1999). It could be hypothesized that due to the constant criticism and negative perceptions that David's parents have expressed regarding his behaviors, utilizing an externalization technique would be beneficial (Lawson & Prevatt, 1999). As the therapist I should ask two sets of questions; questions relating to how family members feel about David's behavior and after a series of questions regarding the families reactions to David's behavior I would ask the parents if there was ever a time in which David did not act disrespectful or behave in a negative manner (Prevatt & Lawson, 1999). All family members could then begin to identify the negative behaviors as external events in which they could seek to collaborate and work against (Prevatt & Lawson, 1999). This would seem to be an effective intervention, especially for David who has been indicated as having low self esteem and has been identified as possibly being the scape goat within the family system.

After a thorough expression of different perspectives over a number of sessions, as the therapist I would suggest to the parents to write a letter to their son. Within the letter I would ask them to express their commitment to helping David. I would express to the parents to write positive statements of affection for David and let him know that they validate his feelings. This would lend to decreased fault finding and negative reciprocity (Lawson & Prevatt, 1999). This process I believe would assist David in reducing his feelings of isolation and enhance his commitment to working against the externalized problems.

Furthermore, a third intervention that may be effective would be for myself as the therapist to write a final letter of prediction (Lawson & Prevatt, 1999). This letter would be written in a way that expressed a strengths base perspective and a positive message of hope in regards to family commitment and David's behaviors.

Psychoeducational Approach

As the therapist I would pursue concepts and processes consistent with educating the Peterson family. I would identify concepts that may be effective considering the educational level of the parents and David, as well as the families strengths and ability to utilize problem solving and communication concepts (Becvar & Becvar, 2000). Considering the suspected scape goating behaviors of Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, I feel that teaching Mr. and Mrs. Peterson better ways of communicating their own problems rather than projecting them upon David would be beneficial. I believe speaking with Mr. and Mrs. Peterson about active listening skills, practicing the communication ball technique (speaker holds the ball / listener waits their turn) would allow the Petersons to work on their listening skills. I feel that this would work well for the Petersons considering their educational level and willingness to learn.

Another intervention I would implement to enhance communication with the educational system would be to teach parents how to implement a home/school communication system (Foley, 2007). This system includes maintaining a chart that is marked by teachers and parents to indicate behaviors, moods, and activities that were completed during the day (Foley, 2007). The construction of this system creates effective communications between school staff and parents (Foley, 2007). As the therapist I would ask the Petersons to construct this system as instructed and then within one session evaluate the process and express the ideas to David. Emphasizing also to David that good reports will bring good rewards. Educating Mr. and Mrs. Peterson regarding follow through and consistency regarding the communication system would be very important.

Due to the educational levels of the Peterson family, as a therapist I would suggest interventions such as parental skills groups within the community or the use of parenting resources and educational programs within sessions. It is hypothesized that the Petersons would welcome any educational information regarding more effective parenting. Recommending web sites, books (Love and Logic) and therapeutic games to enhance a child's communication and self esteem would be possible interventions for the Peterson family. These psychoeducational interventions would assist with the third objective of the treatment plan, regarding the need to obtain greater parenting and relationship skills.

Conclusion

The difficulty I identified within the first treatment plan was that only one approach was utilized and it was not an eclectic process with at least three approaches and multiple interventions. I believe that the eclecticism should be a priority due to the nature of the problem and multiple systems involved. I felt as if in order to reduce David's negative behaviors the interventions should be creative, connected to problem solving objectives and address the entire family system.

I believe that utilizing a cognitively based approach would be an important part in identifying the negative beliefs and schemas David may have about himself as the roots of his low self esteem. By increasing David's abilities in negative thought identification, David will be able to purposely insert positive thoughts through cognitive restructuring (Becvar & Becvar, 2000). Gaining parental involvement with journaling may also be a wonderful intervention, considering that Mr. and Mrs. Peterson are writers and may give interesting and creative reflections.

What may be a concern is that David's parents could identify externalizing a problem through a Narrative approach, as a way of David not taking full responsibility for his behavior. Considering their past negative reciprocity of his behaviors and the parents' attitudes and expectations, it would be important to emphasize the significance of such a perspective.

David stated that his parents do not listen to him. Also admitted by his parents, they tend to argue more when David gets in trouble. The chosen Psycho educational approach would seem to be an effective approach. This approach I feel would assist the Petersons in gaining valuable communication skills and greater parenting strategies for David. I feel that communication building strategies would assist with what David stated as "no one listens to me." Considering the Petersons income level, community influence and positive attitude towards education, suggesting that they gain involvement in a parenting and or communications group would be an excellent intervention strategy.

I feel as the Petersons therapist that the utilization of these three approaches and choosing them according to their specific circumstance and family dynamics that they will prove to be more effective. I feel that these approaches contain all the elements that are needed to enhance the skills and reduce the problems that were chosen by the Peterson family.

Note to Reader: All participants in this article and the agency are fictional: any relation or connection to real circumstances is clearly coincidental.

L. J. Riley Jr. BSW, LLMSW

______________________________________

References

Becvar, D. S., & Bacvar, R. J. (2000). Family Therapy; A Systemic Integration. (4th edition). Needham Heights; Ma: Allyn & Bacon Publishing.

Foley, S. (2007) Psychological Testing for Social Workers; The Notes.

Lawson, D. M., & Prevatt, F. F. (1999) Casebook in Family Therapy. Belmont; CA:

Wadsworth Publishing.

Laverne J. Riley Jr. is a Persian Gulf War combat veteran. He graduated with high honors from Mott Community College as a member of Phi Theta Kappa. He is a graduate of the University of Michigan Flint BSW Program in which he won the "Maize and Blue Scholar Award" with high honors. Recently, he graduated with an 8.0 (4.0) GPA from the University of Michigan Ann Arbor MSW School of Social Work, in which he became the recipient of the Howard and Judith Simms Fellowship. L.J.Riley Jr. lives with his family in Burton, Michigan and continues to write children's work, metaphorical poetry and seeks to make vast differences for people and the world.

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Family time: How you can give your family or for time this Christmas

I said if there was a very simple way you can spend more time with your family this Christmas? I told about it would cost you a cent? What if I told you it was an easy way to get up to four extra hours each day with your loved ones? Would your family to benefit from this extra time?

All you have to do is get rid of your TV.

"WOAH!Wait a minute! I CAN'T POSSIBLY give UP MY TV! " call. NOT MY SOAP!NOT FOOTBALL! NOT DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES! NOT ... "

Well, I am not saying that you would not have to sacrifice a little; But at the end of this article, you'll see that the benefits of giving up your TV far outweigh the costs, It may seem a difficult task, but it's not really. It only takes a little discipline and creativity to fill the time.

Join the many other families who have given up on TV

Many families have given up on TV. My family did Madonna's family made it; I felt so strongly about my decision, I created a site about it; it is also why I reach out to you now. So you and your family can experience the benefits. Believe me, your family can function without a TV and be happier and healthier home.

Would you rather Miss time with your family or time watching TV?

I realize that this still can be a daunting prospect for many. The average person look after four hours a day and the average family has TV over seven hours a day. It can be a significant change. But think what you give with your family when you spend this much time in TELEVISION. Think about what your family's life can be like without TV to get a better picture of what you and your family are missing.

Breakfast TV

When all are in a hurry to get to school or work, get the morning very hectic. I know. TV only to distraction. If there is no TELEVISION blaring, children are more likely to cooperate in preparing. There may also be time for an old-fashioned family breakfast. At least your family will have more time for nice good-byes when everyone starts his day.

After school without TV

Rather than send school cartoons, which are often filled with violence, kids outside to play; children must play. They are so much happier when they have a chance to run and burn energy. And parents need to play too.Join your child in a game of football and basketball.Go for a walk around the neighborhood. Go family bike ride.The possibilities are endless. enjoy fresh air and sunshine; you can also drag a few friends from their TV, gameboys, and computers and play together.All that exercise, you and your family should build up quite an appetite, don't you think?

Dinner without TV

After so much fun and exercise will your family be ready for a healthy dinner.Remember that they have not been watching television advertising of crunchy delicious POPs and other junk food.So, don't ruin this time by turning on THE TELEVISION that over half of all families.Eat together and talk about your day.Connect with each other and discuss any problems or issues that may have been during the day, When you know what problems your child you can nip them in the bud. Then, you can plan everything fun activities your family will make the next weekend.

Chores without TV

Let's say your family finishing dinner and cleaning up together, OK, I realize chores not is the most popular and fun family activities; And do you not mention chores when you sell this "Family time" plan for the rest of your family.But just imagine how much easier it is to get all the points when THE TV is turned off.

Prime Time without TV

After a good dinner and chores are a "prime time" for families to connect with some fun activities.Depending on your family, this time either back out or exciting.You can play board games, puzzles, read, or cuddle a more back in the evening, Or you can dance, pillow fights, or even ticklefests for gaming and excitement.You can also go for an evening walk and look at all the weird glow coming from other houses where families staring at their TV as well as zombies.

Late in the evening without TV

When the children are in bed, may you and your spouse, a perfect opportunity to connect, I do not think that I'm going to paint a picture of what that time might look like, you can use your own imagination. But after go this far without watching TV, I hope you do not activate it here!

Then of course will be after this great, fun day you be ready and have time for a full night's sleep.

Your family without TV

Now do you think your family may be happier with the routine above? that they can grow healthier over time? every family is different; The routine in your family settle on will probably be a little different. my family routine quite not with the above, in particular in the case of chores, but we have much more time to connect, and the children are playing outside often.

Use your imagination to develop a routine that is customized for your family, Then you will be ready to give your family the gift of quality family time this Christmas; Next Chrismas you will wonder how families find the time to watch TV.

Katherine Westphal is the founder of a new website for daring Recycle your TV!, which makes it fun and easy for people to gain control of their TV set; are you addicted to TV? Take our TV Addiction Quiz and find out!

All is Well

Those were the words I read most days in a signature on the unassisted childbirth forum. They started to sink in then I realised they came from Abraham (a group of spiritual beings who are channeled by Esther Hicks). I bought a book called Ask and it is Given several years ago I didn't read it all as it seemed far fetched and how could all be well. I just thought it was a load of twaddle. But this time I thought what if, what if they are right and the law of attraction does work, what if we ARE supposed to be happy joyous beings. I have written before that I think that if we all  got ourselves sorted out then we'd spend far less of our lives worrying about other people and things that we can not change.

So, I have taken onboard the idea that all is well, what has happened has happened. I can't change that, I can appreciate the good things and let go of the past. All desires are registered by the universe and when we are ready to increase our vibrations to joyous and to allow the desire to manifest then it will.

In the past I have felt my vibrations and mood lift sky high on a raw food diet then got unnerved about the height and fallen hard. This time I am not eating raw all the time but my mood and vibrations are lifting. I am consiously thinking positive thoughts, trying to let go and have fun and trying out singing. I was told I sang flat as a child and have always done so. Now I have let go and started singing anyway. It uplifts my spirits and I just know that singing flat will soon be all in the past.

Tiny Homes

I bought a magazine about eco-housing this week and it had an article about small cheap housing. I really think the tiny house looks excellent. It uses less stuff to build, heat etc. You have less space so are obliged to have less stuff. The idea that it is cheaper also means less time working to pay off loans. Some of them have lots of glass which makes them feel spacious. A tiny house combined with a covered area outside and a greenhouse would be the ultimate in green living. I have been drawing plans, it would be great to build one in the garden. That said we already have more building than we use, we don't always think we have enough space! We had been talking about expanding over the stable so Flo could have her own room, maybe we just need to look at things in a new light and start some serious clutter clearing.

I found a blog about tiny homes which shows lots of great examples.

 http://tinyhouseblog.com/gallery/

 

My Garden

Things are growing really well, the nettle forest is enormous and I hope we will leave them long enough to collect the seeds; We ate loads of young ones cooked. Today I made a flat bread of sunflower seeds and nettle but that is still in the dehydrator. The nettle kraut got really stinky and I threw it out. It tasted odd, not off but not really very appetising. I'm sure I'll try again one of these days.
My website now has loads of pictures and detail of what is going on in the garden at the momment so please check it out.
http://wildgreencuisine.com

Red Slug Syrup

The childrens coughs went on and on in fact they are still coughing occasionally so I cracked and made some red slug syrup and recommended by a neighbour and by Dr Vogel in The Nature Doctor. There is a recipe and pictures here http://suzplace.com/slug.html

Corsica

We had a lovely week in Corsica in April staying with some friends who a have a smallholding. http://www.corsicaincompany.com

I've put some pictures here http://suzplace.com/corsica.html

 

Web Site

I have started my website about wild food, green food, growing food, fermenting food etc. It is an on going project so please keep coming back for more.

www.wildgreencuisine.com

 

Frustration, Canser and Bugs

All my kids are coughing, Flo and Eben the most. Flo missed two days of school and Eben is still home. They eat well and I've tried homeopathy, vitamins etc. I was appalled to find aspartame in the Vit C tabs I bought, not a good idea for the kids. Part of me is saying that I need to up the defensive, force the green smoothies down them etc, part just says 'you've failed, put it in the hands of the doctors'. I just want their bodies to be able to fight this off not going to doctor for drugs which might  fight the bugs but not help them in the long term.

I don't think the fact that my Mum has canser (I'll spell this the same way as Kris Carr does on her CrazySexyCancerBlog ) helps, she has bowel canser and has had a week of chemo and radiation, and is now on a third week of radiation. To me the treatment is nearly as frightening as the idea of canser itself. She is fighting tho and my brother is staying with her and has embraced the raw food concept so I know she is eating well.

I just feel helpless against bugs at the momment. I'm stepping up my lacto fermenting efforts in a bid to out bug the badbugs with goodbugs.

Dandelions

Dandelions are popping up all over the place at the momment. Most people collect the blanched ones in mole hills but I pick the green bitter ones now. Sometimes I make a dressing for them with honey in or at others I cut them up fine and add to another salad. Last night I mixed them with spring cabbage, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and ginger. It was a tasty mix. I also made sunflower seed paté which I served with tomato, cucumber and celery. It not the season for tomatoes and cucumber yet but I just fancied something different.