HAPPY RAW YEAR

To you!

Thats my aim anyway, but I'm struggling, I'm craving bread like mad and keep giving in. I have loads of things in the freezer that have to be eaten too. I have made up a plan which leaves once or twice a week to use up some of the stuff in there but I'm still finding it hard. Its like having 2 personalities. One is heavy, dull and eats badly and the other is bright and sparky and light. The problem comes when the bright sparky person manages to get out due to good diet and exercise and I look at myself and say who the hell are you? I don't know you, with all this energy you're going to have to do much more, people will think you are strange, no more treats, just being odd for the rest of your life. Then I give in and go back to my previous habits. Why do we do this? I know I am not alone, What are we afraid of?

Home made Christmas tree

The kids like to have a Christmas tree, I think they look pretty but don't like seeing all those trees chopped down each year. The land would be better planted with fruit or nut trees or just trees that stay there and look pretty all year round.

I thought about buying an artificial tree, but thats brings up the problem of plastics etc so I decided we'd make a tree. I had planned to use wood but then chose to try one out in cardboard first and it was so good we decided to keep it.

Griff has bought me a chestnut tree to plant in the garden so this year we have two Christmas trees one live one that will go on to feed us in years to come, yummy roast chestnuts and another from a recycled cardboard box and secondhand decorations and some decorations made by the kids. We'll be making paperchains this weekend.

Dry or Wipe ?

I recently read about the amount of paper that is used to wipe our bums with. Its an enormous amount. Then I read about it here http://nakedfoodcafe.blogspot.com/2007/11/doing-paperwork.html

We have an outside dry toilet and at one point used old newspaper but it wasn't really absorbant enough so we started buying proper paper. We try and use as little as possible and encourage the children to do the same. They are pretty good but sometimes the appeal of the cardboard tube becomes too much and down the loo goes the paper!

I was sent this picture yesterday and I just had to post it. Is this the solution? :)

8 skipping ropes

My house is full of so much stuff, I can't believe how much. I am not a tidy person and have become a hoarder. I like to recycle and reuse things so everything is kept, just in case! I have started on the kids room which is a tip. Flo has 8 skipping ropes and she can't even skip :)

Do I just tidy the mess or do I get rid of it. Today I listened to so tapes I'd copied off of the radio and they are definatly going in the bin, one even had me singing on it, yuck yuck yuck. I cut that one so noone could get it out and listen to it, it was awful.

Sometimes I'd just like to throw everything away and start from scratch. So much of the stuff is stuff we have been given and whilst it is so often usefull and the kids are dressed mostly like that it is still too much but I don't like to say no and so the cycle goes on and on. I cleared my desk yesterday and it is so much nicer sitting here now than it was. 

Intuition and Bananas

To make use of your own intuition you have to trust it, COMPLETELY!

I was reminded of this on my friend Connies blog. Its something you have to do during childbirth. Odd things happen when giving birth and you just have to trust that they are right for you or to know clearly when they are not and to act on it. I can do it then but its not easy the rest of the time, which voice is intuition, which comes from my mind and is based on learnt behaviour and which is just down right addiction (this is the easiest to spot, the cravings for bread and wine are a big give away!)?At the start of my pregnancy my inner voice kept telling me to eat fruit, my mind kept saying 'Why? I don't like fruit.' I chose to listen and found myself not only enjoying fruit but eating more raw food than I ever had. It went wrong when I stopped listening and followed what was expected of me when in England and I didn't get back to it. Its getting better now but I have to listen to my intuition about what to eat NOW, not in the morning when I'll start my new diet, but NOW when I feel like carrot juice or nettles.

In the summer Connie started a new blog called Banana Island and along with her family she followed a mono fruit diet for a while. I was envious of their commitment and found that it seemed like such a good idea. I don't think I'll do that as my intuition is screaming green and wild foods to me. Not just nettles but the great selection of wild green stuff that grows around me. I will listen to my intuition and I will do it and get fit and well and happier than imaginable, I just have to trust.

Thank you Connie for your blogs and the inspiration that they give.

http://nakedfoodcafe.blogspot.com/

http://bananaislandgetaway.blogspot.com/

5 weeks, ALREADY?!

Wow, I can't believe Arwen is already 5 weeks old, time has really flown. I am typing this with her asleep in the baby carrier. She spends most of her time in someones arms and sleeps in with us at night. Some people have said ''oh, you don't want to get them used to being carried around and picked up when they cry'' my answer to that is that I would rather my newborn learnt that when she needs me that I am there as opposed to learning that she'll be ignored. People also ask if she is good. Is a newborn really good or bad? They have needs thats all and its up to us their parents to make sure they are met.

Mum stayed for just over a week, the kids loved it. I find it hard as she wants to talk all the time and I don't. I'm a solitary person and to be in anothers company all the time is hard. Okay so I have 4 kids but thats not the same and I still need my space.

For Halloween I invited some friends for dinner so the kids could dress up. For a couple of years halloween seemed to get more popular in France but this year nothing, no decorations or costumes in the shops, nothing. We decorated the house and painted the kids faces so they had fun.

I swam for the first time since before Arwen was born on Sunday. I managed a kilometre which is what I was doing before but it is easier to swim at the end of pregnancy than getting back into it a few weeks later! I have been for a couple of runs with Eben and can just about manage a run with a nearly 5 year old! I really want to get running again. Next October I plan to run a marathon, not give birth!

I am still drinking my nettles (occasionally) and have drunk carrot juice again this morning. I have even started some clover and mustard seed sprouts which is the first time since January. Yeh to getting back to raw!!!!!

Placenta Smoothies

When I first read about these my thought was YUCK. But when Arwen was born I was showing Flo the placenta and decided to try a small piece. It should stop post partum hemorrhage and it was suprising fine to eat, not meat like or chewy just warm really. The rest went in the fridge with the intention of burying it in the garden but the more I thought about it the more I thought it would be more sensible to consume it for all the vitamins, minerals and hormones it contains. Some people cook it but I couldn't do that, others dehydrate it and make capsules with it but smoothies seemed the easiest way to go and the rawest. I cut the placenta into inch cubes and froze most of it. It was odd cutting up a part of me but then I thought about cutting up dead meat and I can do that and this wasn't even something that had been killed it had just finished its job.
I have nearly finished all the pieces. I just blend one with water and half a banana or a pear and it just tastes of the fruit that is in it. I guess that is what has been helping me to continue to feel so well. Arwen is a lovely baby, she suckles and sleeps and loves to be in my arms much of the time. School holidays start on Friday so we will all be together everyday and my Mum is coming too so that should be quite an experience!

A lovely Sunday

What a lovely day we've had. Griff took the 3 eldest kids to the swimming pool this morning and I stayed at home with Arwen and cooked Sunday lunch, I love raw food but still have a thing about Sunday lunch. They got back and we all ate together with Arwen at the table too in her Daddy's arms. My complete family together, lovely. After lunch most of us slept a while then we went out for a walk round the wood behind our house. Griff and Flo ran, Eben zoomed off alone and us slow ones pootled behind and kicked through the chestnut leaves on the ground. The sunshine was brilliant and it was warm. We've since had supper together and the kids are in bed and I'll be going soon, Griff is watching the last quarter final of the rugby world cup over at a neighbours.

In all our day has been perfect and so different from what it could have been had I decided on Friday to go to the hospital to give birth. It would have been spent in an overheated room with people popping in all day, the kids would have gone up the walls when visiting etc.

Homebirth is definatly the way to go.

PINK PINK PINK !

We are so delighted, we have a little girl. She is called Arwen Elenor and was born at home yesterday evening. Labour was short but hard, I still feel ecstatic now but am glad to have my family complete and not have to do that again. Birthing at home with just the family is so much nicer than being in a hospital. Its hard work for Griff though running round after us being parent, cook, midwife, cleaner etc. The children are delighted with the baby, Gwilym is a little unsure which is to be expected so everyone is paying him that little extra bit of attention. We'd have been really pleased with a boy or a girl, but it being a girl really is the icing on the cake.

Here she is.

Cutting cords of attachment

I've just been reading about a book on cutting cords of attachment. It is written by Rose Rosetree who has also written good books on empathy and aura reading. The book is more about spiritual attachments than physical but is relevant to me at the momment knowing that sometime in the next two weeks I'll be severing the bond that attaches me so closely to this baby I am carrying, the spiritual bond will be stronger than ever but the physical one has to go. I also need to break my link with the Internet at times. I have so many things I want to write about but as the computor is attached by cable to the net at all times I tend to surf rather than write. I need to detach the cable and move away for a while and get typing. Addictions are attachments I wonder if the techniques in the book work. At the momment I feel that giving up an addiction is a matter of choice. Its making the choice that is difficult. Sometimes we think we want to give something up but deep down we don't, perhaps that deep down thing is the cord of attachment. I'll have to order the book to find out! 

Nesting and Waddling

I'll be 36 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I reached the momment were time seems to be standing still. Birth is so close yet so far, I am so looking forward to it but at the same time I don't want it to happen just yet as I love feeling the baby move and the practise contractions. I'm drinking lots of raspberry leaf tea, its nice just to pick them straight from the bush and to nibble of a few raspberrys at the same time. I am still eating loads of fruit but too much cooked stuff. I am knocking out quick meals most of the time and relying to much on staples such as rice and potatoes. Florence and Eben are back at school and eat there at lunchtime. Each evening we have a big salad. Eben seems to have turned into a rabbit and loves his greens at the momment. I need to find a better balance. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the idea of raw that instead of cooking a vegetable I end up leaving it in the fridge until it rots were as if I'd cooked it we'd at least get some good out of it.
I've prepared all the things I need for the baby and have even been down on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor which is very unlike me, definately nesting instinct! I went for an ultra sound scan at 33 weeks and all looks fine, I was very pleased with myself for saying I didn't want to know the sex of the baby, Griff hoped to see but he or she just showed their back so we are both still in the dark. I'm going back to see the midwife on the 17th September then plan to leave it at that. We are still planning on having this baby at home, just us, but the hospital knows about us should I decide to go in.
The swimming pool has been closed for a week and will be for another which is a bummer, the only option left to me now is walking and I'm not doing that very well anymore as I waddle! Never mind I'm doing lots and lots of reading and lounging on the sofa as sitting isn't very comfy either. I read today the theory that nature makes the last month of pregnancy uncomfortable on purpose so that we look forward to birthing, maybe thats true.

Over Eating

I've just taken some pancreatic enzymes to help with my digestion, at others I drink cider vinegar, sometimes gaviscon or bicarb for the acid reflux. Why can't I just simply eat less? Its daft and I know its not just me, people the world over are popping pills for illness's caused by simply eating too much or not eating what is good and natural. Crazy, aren't we all pigs?

I'm Back!

After 3 weeks in England we got back home last Monday. I've got out of the habit of blogging so need to get back to writing down some of these thoughts that whizz around in my head all day. I also need to act on a lot of them and not waste time just surfing for something to do.

I found England hard work to start with but then relaxed and enjoyed seeing people. I hated the car journeys though, the UK is so over populated that short journeys take for ever, 4 hours to cover 80 miles on a sticky afternoon with 3 kids in the car and a dodgy exhaust pipe that pumped its fumes into the car when we opened the windows was not fun for anyone involved!

For the first week I managed to keep up with eating fruit for breakfast and some salad but then it just went wrong, toast, sandwiches, cakes, fish and chips etc etc. The main thing I noticed was how dry eating like that is, its odd because when eating raw I like the dehydrated things as otherwise food is too wet! Balance is needed. I am slowly moving towards raw again, very slowly, its not just me I still have 4 others to feed so we are having lots of salads with or before cooked meals. We had tomato and clover salad today which everyone enjoyed even though the clover is quite bitter. We've been shopping twice since we got back and it just seems daft when I see all the green stuff in the garden which is edible but we don't eat through lack of habit, hence the clover today. We also have blackberries and plums which are delicious even if a little waterlogged. There is actually a little sun today, the first we have seen since getting back, so I'll be back later when I have picked more delights from the garden to eat.

Feeling unwell

Well I really don't think my body appreciated the way I fed it at the weekend. Yesterday afternoon Griff opened a packet of crisps (potato chips) and poured me a glass of rosé. Its odd how even though crisps are so greasy and bad for me that I can't stop stuffing, after that an half a glass of wine I started to feel sick and still feel grotty over 24hrs later. I've eaten a bit of fruit and drunk lots of carrot juice. This evening I tried some scrambled egg and toast, not ideal but was what Griff did for the kids and it looked lovely, it didn't make me feel better worse. I may have picked up a bug as the Griff and the kids haven't been at their best either, or maybe I gave everyone food poisoning with my cooking.

I've got people coming for lunch tomorrow who were already worried that as a brit that I might serve them lamb with mint so I am going to mix lots of salady stuff with some pork and paté so everyone is satisfied. On Thursday we are picnicing with neighbours so we can watch the Tour de France go by together, then Friday we are invited to friends in the evening so my raw food diet is already getting difficult. I just don't want to be ill when we are in England and I don't want my diet exhausting me. This is going to be a real test of how much I can care for myself and not worry about what other people think, tricky!

Pizza and Cherry Tart

My pizza and cherry tart had alot more success with the kids than the curries I made. I served the pizza with a green salad which consisted of shop bought lettuce with garden picked clover, comfrey (tiny amount) and vine leaves. We also had the onion bread with pureéd aubergines and that was good too. We made Eben taste the left over nettle curry and his reaction was one of such horror, he was convinced it was stinging the inside of his mouth. The base of the cherry tart was made of sunflower seeds and cherries and Flo loved it. I have also tried out flaxseed crackers and guacamole with more crispy vine leaves and sage leaves.
At the weekend I again slipped into the world of cooked food and ended up with irritated bowels and bladder. One day of cooked does do too much harm but two causes all sorts of problems. I had some rosé wine too which didn't help matters. I ended up the day on bicarb of soda and vitamins to try and deacidify my body. This morning I woke up achy and craving juices and smoothies. I'm really going to have to watch myself when we are back in the UK for 3 weeks.

Raw Stinging Nettle Curry

Yesterday I spent quite alot of time uncooking, I wasn't feeling in a good mood in the morning and found the food preparation very relaxing. These are the things I made.

1. Sprouted wheat and tomato flat bread / pizza base.

2. Sprouted wheat, onion and poppy seed flat bread.

3. Aubergine marinated in garlic, lemon juice and olive oil.

4. Courgetti with red pepper, basil and nettle pesto and chopped tomatoes.

5. Sprouted wheat pulao 'rice' with raisins and cashews.

6. Courgette cardamon curry.

7. Aubergine, coconut curry.

8. Stinging nettle and coriander curry.

9. Semi dried tomatoes

10. Courgette rings marinated in garlic and chilli and semi dried.

We had the courgettti for lunch, the older kids ate theirs with some protest, Gwilym kept asking for more and yum yumed his way through. We then had some cooked pea soup and garlic mushrooms.

Yesterday evening was a disaster, Flo, Eben and Griff had been swimming and got back late and were tired. Neither kids ate their curries and Griff just ate his with no comment then stuffed on paté, bread and cheese. Gwilym loved the 'rice'. I thought it was all delicious, even the nettle curry which was a fun experiment and one I will do again.

Today I intend to turn the tomato pizza base into a pizza with the semi dried toms and courgettes together with other bits and pieces. I will also purée the marinated aubergine to have with the onion bread. I will serve all that with the white sausages that Griff and the kids bought yesterday. That shows a great improvement in my mood as last night I was going to have all the yummy raw food and they were just getting sausage and potatoes!

Dying or being alive

Last month was one filled with death, a close friend lost her baby a week before it should have been born, 3 close friends lost their dads and our community lost its mayor. The first was by far the hardest to deal with, a little girl who never really got the chance to be alive. Each time I heard of a death I thought 'I don't want to die, thank goodness I'm still alive'. I started to think about what being alive means.
Do we spend most of our lifes dying or are we being alive. I think that as kids we are alive. Look at the joy you see in kids faces and they are truly living. Sometime we start to die, unfortuanatly some sooner than others. The way people treat us adds to this process, so does the stuff we ingest into our bodies. We are taught to think that dying all your life is normal, we have to do as we are told, follow doctors and parents who don't know any better, we are taught that it is better to look after other people than ourselves, putting ourselves first is seen as selfish. I've realised that this is a load of old rot, we need to put ourselves first, learn to love ourselves and get on with living our lives. If we really do what is best for us, for our minds, bodies and spirits then we will feel great and be more there for life. We can take responsability for ourselves, others won't have to give up their lives to look after us. Looking after ourselves doesn't mean ignoring everyone else or not being kind, I just believe that if we really all took care of ourselves we would have more time for others, for having fun with them, not nursing them or listening to their health wows. Changing the way we think isn't always easy, we don't want to give up the way we think, what we eat and drink. I find myself eating or drinking things I don't want to because I don't want to upset others around me, this is just ludicrous. Why should I fill my body with crap just to make someone else happy, why do I feed my own children crap food, just to make them happy? Its daft because feeding them good live food will make them so much happier in the long run as they will feel better and learn that feeling good about being alive is the way to be.
I've been struggling with my raw diet but now realise that the choice is really mine, do I want to be dying or living?

Chocolate Cherry Cake (Raw of course)

On Sunday I decided to unbake a cake. I found a recipe on a friends blog http://www.nakedfoodcafe.blogspot.com and adapted it to suit my ingredients. This is what it came out like.

The base and top for the cake were made from 3 cups dates and 3 cups of brazil nuts and a tablespoon of cocoa powder. I processed them in a food processer with half a cup of water then shaped into two rounds on a greaseproof tray which I put in the freezer for about an hour, till firm.

The filling and topping were 3 cups cherries, 3 tbsps cocoa, 1 cup ground cashews, 2 tbsps honey all whizzed up together. I also put fresh cherries in the middle and on top.

It was so delicious and rich. I'll definatly be doing more unbaking. Thanks for getting me started Connie.

Swimming Flo

On Saturday night we went to a party at Griffs swimming club, there were to be games and races for the children and adults. The first race was for the kids, they had to do 2 lengths (of a 25 metre pool), starting by jumping or diving in, then swimming to a float and swimming underneath it, then more swimming and climbing out onto a float and walking across 2 others, then swimming some more then diving down through a metal cage, swimming to the end, climbing out and jumping back in to do it all again. Flo hasn't joined the swim club yet as the criteria to join is to be able to swim a length unaided. She can just about do it now and will have lessons this summer before joining in September. Back to Saturday, Flo was called over to join in the race and the next thing we knew she was up on the starting block and ready to go first, I was with the boys so sent Griff to keep an eye on her, old mother hen! She jumped in holding her nose but then did the whole length no problem, she got out at the other end not realising she was meant to go again but once told happily jumped back in and did it all over again. We were so proud of her, what a girl!

Bouncing Belly and Vine Leaf Crisps

I am now 5 months pregnant and when I lie down my belly bounces up and down as the baby kicks, I thought I didn't 'see' the movements till later on in the past, but its fun and gives the other kids chance to see their baby brother or sister. I chose not to have an ultra sound at 23 weeks as I can tell that things are growing okay and feel great. One big reason for this scan is to check for abnormalities so an abortion can be performed is desired. I knew I didn't want that so didn't see the point. The other big reason is to find out the gender, everyone is asking me if I know. I did with the other three but this time would like a suprise.

I had a week of eating lots of cooked food and the acid reflux and aching legs came back. After 4 days back on raw things are better again, I have more energy and feel happier. I am really enjoying this pregnancy and feel relaxed and serene about it.

Last night I tried a recipe for green crisps, I used vine leaves dipped in a paste of ground cashew nuts, salt, olive oil, garlic and chilli, then put them in the dehydrator for a few hours to 'crisp' up. Scrumptious!